I want to start off by saying I stared at this cover for a good long time pondering how I was going to talk about it in a way that would be appropriate for a public forum, and a public forum that deals primarily with young adult literature no less. After stewing for a while I said "screw it" and decided to just put my thoughts out there ;-)
At first glance I thought this cover was gorgeous (I still do illustration-wise, it just makes me giggle a bit now because my maturity level at times dips dangerously low). It's bright, colorful and I've always been a fan of illustrated book covers, so this was pretty much an all around win for me. Then I scanned down this lovely image and noticed that her butt crack seems to have sprouted copious amounts of vegetation, an observation that forced me to retract all previous positive thoughts. My brain stuttered to a complete halt when I saw these flowers springing forth from between her cheeks and I'm pretty sure I have yet to recover. The word "why" keeps running through my mind on a continuous loop and I have no answers to serve as a salve to help heal the wound in my soul these butt blooms have ripped open.
Has she been eating magical beans? Is this where the "enchanted" element comes into play? She's consumed magical beans as opposed to regular ones so when she, um, toots she leaves behind a trail of flowering vines? Is that what's happening here? Well, isn't that just whimsical. No noxious fumes for this girl my friends! Nope, her gaseous releases instead cause vibrant foliage to bloom and thrive. How gloriously disturbing. I'm pretty sure those are flowers I will not be taking the time to smell no matter how fresh, natural, and full of life her backside apparently is.
The line of text underneath the title says "More Erotic Bedtime Stories for Women." Um. I'm a woman, and I assure you I want no erotic stories wherein flora burst from a character's crack like the aliens in Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. Thank you, but I pass with enthusiasm. And furthermore, because I know these are erotic stories, the stem of that pumpkin begins to look more and more phallic the longer I stare at it, and my mind begins to wander off in uncomfortable directions mulling over what exactly is going to take place in these bedtime tales. *full body shudder*
Because this title includes the word "again" I figured there was a prequel to this book floating around out there, and honestly, I couldn't contain my morbid curiosity and wanted to see if the first book depicted vines leaking out of other orifices that might fascinate and horrify me at the same time. So of course I looked it up:
Huh. I'm both relieved and a little let down that this cover seems so beautifully normal. Why doesn't she have some sort of strange nipple blossom? Or a pair of titty flowers if you will? I was so prepared for a full brain shutdown and restart that I can't help but feel a touch disappointed. I do so hope there's a third volume in the works ;-)
Have a great weekend everyone and Happy 4th of July to my US friends and readers!
