Friday, May 20, 2011

Cover Critique: Short and Sweet

Let me preface this post by saying that my critiques of these covers are in no way, shape or form a reflection on the author, the content or the publisher. I know the authors have very little, if any, control over the design. These are strictly my thoughts meant simply to be humorous and not insulting.

Happy Friday everyone! Work has been kicking my butt this week so I didn't have as much time as I'd hoped to scour the internet for the best of the worst covers to share with you all, but I wanted to do something to celebrate the weekend so I have a couple mini critiques for you. Sorry for the shortness, but I hope they at least make you giggle!



Ah, yes. We women are a crafty bunch aren't we? You just never know what we're going to do next. We often like to dye our hair blond on top and black underneath, dress in our finest lingerie-type dresses to emphasize our enormous (and also lumpy) breasts and curvy hips, and then run around in the night stabbing people with knives. We're just so silly like that.

I'm not sure if I take offense to this title or not, it seems to be implying that we're all saucy, murdering minxes and I'm pretty sure I don't fit in that category. I can't think of many women who do really. And she doesn't seem upset about her bloody knife in the least now does she? She's just hanging out in her clingy satin gown, thinking about stuff. Maybe she wants to run from the suit behind her, maybe she doesn't. Maybe she needs to go stab some more people, maybe she doesn't. So many options my friends! And we women are clearly unpredictable as this title so beautifully informs us, so who knows what's going on in our crazy little female minds. *Sigh*



Well, this is awkward isn't it? I feel like I've just walked in and interrupted...something I'm not sure I want to know anything about. I would just like to pose one small question. Why is she going to breastfeed a full grown man? This is just such a strange pose the way she's starting to pull her top down and has her hand wrapped around the back of his head to guide him to her soon-to-be-bared chest. It's just got a kind of mother/child vibe to it doesn't it? Maybe it's because he's lower to the ground than she is and his head is almost in her lap as she cradles him, but there's just something off about it for me.

I'm not the only one who finds this more creepy than sexy right? He seems just a touch too interested in her boobs, I can sense a fetish developing here. I feel like a voyeur staring at the two of them on their log/tree in the middle of their flowery field and I want to turn and walk away from this scene as fast as possible before that shirt gets any lower and any sort of lip action starts. Ew.

38 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh...that Second cover is so hilarious!!!!! It totally looks like she's about to breastfeed him lol!

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  2. Yeah, actually, it kind of looks like she's going to force the guy to breastfeed. Are guys into that? Also, it looks like a hell of situation to post for. I mean, think of the cramping that the models must have suffered!

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  3. Why is she going to breast-feed a full grown man? Perhaps she is a Saudi woman breastfeeding her driver to protest not being allowed to drive. (Some Saudi women have threatened to do this. Look it up.)

    However, the lack of cars in the cover image seems to make this interpretation unlikely. :)

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  4. Lol, the second pic is very awkward and creepy. As for the first pic, for some reason I thought she was holding a huge syringe and was like no wonder the guy is so scared.

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  5. What the heck did I walk into? Ummm... Awkward. I'm not sure which is less creepy.. a fetish with killing with an ice pick or a breast feeding fetish.

    Gonna go wash my eyes out with bleach now. Good luck with your work.

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  6. Tara - Doesn't it? I stared at it for a while just trying to figure out what was happening:)

    Ruby - She does seem rather forceful doesn't she, maybe it's her kink and not his. Interesting:)

    Anonymous - I did not know that but I like your interpretation despite the lack of cars:)

    Zahida - It is very awkward. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it:) And I'm pretty sure it's a knife in the first one, but it could be a syringe. Or a railroad spike. or anything else sharp. We women can wield any number of weapons;)

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  7. Missie - You just walked into supreme awkwardness, welcome to the party:)

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  8. My stomach hurts from laughing. Seriously that second cover is disturbing. What crazy person approved that. Eeww!

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  9. The second cover is so disturbing! :O I wonder whether we are actually supposed to find that sexy...
    As for the woman in the first cover, she seems to know how to kill with style.

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  10. The second is just icky, I guess he has one of those breastfeeding fetishes

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  11. Haha, your breastfeed comment had me laughing out loud. That is just so bizarre. Seriously! Who designs these covers?! Thanks for making me laugh!

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  12. 2nd cover made me lol forced breastfeeding

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  13. LOL! That first pic make us women look psycho. And the second one look like she is going to breast feed him! HAHAHAH! Seriously, where do you find these books?

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  14. It looks like he's about to breastfeed... WTF? *blech*

    I'm thinking that chick on the first cover could so be me- on a a bad day, and if I was blond! ;)

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  15. Nic - Oh good, I'm so glad I'm not the only one that things there's something wrong with this cover:)

    Misha - She's very stylish for a murderer isn't she? Gotta look nice when you're stabbing people I guess.

    Blodeuedd - There are clearly issues going on here:)

    Christina - You're welcome!

    Jessica - Well, it's what it looks like, I can't help it:) I had to share to see if I was the only one that found it funny:)

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  16. Savy - Right? What does that title mean "you never know with women" like we're all insane:) I look long and hard for these covers, it's too much fun!

    Ashley - It could probably be me too on a bad work day, minus the sexy outfit. Slap that women in some sweatpants (and brown hair) and she'd look more like me:)

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  17. Im with Missie- I need to wash my eyes out...that first cover was so ugly.....and the second very creepy....

    Nothing like breat feeding a grown man!! Gross!

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  18. breast feeding, not sure what breat feeding is..:)

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  19. Oh god, that last one... ha! It definitely looks like breastfeeding to me. Bleh!

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  20. I got the same vibe with the second one. Icky breast feeding vibe. Funny great post as usual :)

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  21. Tina - It definitely makes you want to take a shower to try and scrub the memory doesn't? So glad I could disturb you on a Friday:)

    Lauren - Bleh is right:)

    Juju - It's just creepy really, I don't quite understand what's going on nor do I want to:)

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  22. My immediate response to Raven was he is about to be breast fed, definitely a disturbing thought. the La Leche League needs to be notified.

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  23. When I went to ALA a couple of years ago, I got a Harlequinn vintage tote bag and this book cover is on it! I should take a picture of it and sent it to you. It's got some fabulous covers for your feature!

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  24. The first cover looks like a poster for an old film noir movie.

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  25. LMFAO!! I saw the second cover and just had to cringe. I mean urgh just wth? LOL. Come on what were they thinking, he seriously does look like he's about to, you know xD

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  26. So first I was just laughing at the covers and your critiques, but Jan's comment nearly made me spit my diet coke out with the mention of the La Leche League. Hahah *dying here*

    As for the covers themselves. Wow, just... I never know quite what to say. You definitely have a talent for finding the most insane covers out there. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not =b

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  27. Jan - LOL! I should send the cover to them:)

    Rummanah - Yes, please send me a picture, this tote sounds amazing! I want one:)

    Jenny - It does. It's from their vintage collection, the title just amuses me.

    Aly - It's full of win isn't it?

    Ashley - I'm going to take it as a compliment. I think it takes a special person to find these covers, and "special" is certainly a good way to describe me:)

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  28. That first cover made me laugh! And, uh, yes that second is a little creepy...
    These posts are such a good way to start the weekend! :)
    Thanks for your comment, and have a great week!

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  29. LOL!
    I guess some just can't rock the gouache paint! LOL Oh and that second one. hm... second childhood? (was better than my first naughty response! lol).

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  30. Hmm, I'm not sure how anyone could look at the second cover and not think breastfeeding. Makes you wonder how publishers and cover designers miss these things, doesn't it? And the first cover... 'We're just so silly like that'. Lol, it should be titled *You Never Know With Syringe/Knife-Wielding-Smirking-Peroxide-Blond-Night-Gown-Wearing-Women*.

    Thanks for making me laugh, as always, Jenny! Hope you have an awesome weekend!

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  31. Haha...totally see breastfeeding there. I kind of like the first cover. It looks retro. The title is dumb though.

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  32. LOL! I like the retro feel to the first one, but geesh....the title! The second one...I feel like you. "Oops, sorry to interrupt." *walks away*

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  33. OMG! When I saw the second cover I totally was wondering why she was breast feeding him too! *Head met palm*
    Have a great weekend Jenny!

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  34. OMG, these covers are terrible.

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  35. Jenny-

    I thought the same thing on that second one. It is kind of stomach turning. Good job with such a short time. The lady on the first cover had some rather rounded hips I thought. Maybe she stabbed the cook or the baker. Just guessing. I'd stab the suit behind her, he doesn't look appealing at all.

    Heather

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  36. Erm, yes that second one is awkward! I feel like I need to just back away slowly and then try to scrub the image from my mind.

    I love your critique on the first one! Saucy murdering minx, indeed! :P

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  37. definitely creepier than sexy! LOL

    Great post as usual!

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