Cover Critique: HeartMate

Let me preface this post by saying that my design critiques of these covers are in no way, shape or form a reflection on the author, the content or the publisher. I know the authors have very little, if any, control over the design. These are strictly my thoughts stemming from my design experience.

Whuh.

That's really the only thought that came to mind when I first saw this cover. As you can see, I'm going back a few years and critiquing the original cover for HeartMate because there's just too much good stuff here for me to bring to your attention.

First, this is a story of one man's search for his HeartMate (aka true love), and really what search is complete without the companionship of your trusty feline friend? And one with a thyroid problem no less. Sexy men are definitely made sexier by the presence of an overweight cat (is it me or does that collar seem to be choking him and making his head swell to an unnatural size?). If there were two men before me, one with a pudgy feline and one without, I most certainly would choose the one with the affinity for (please insert a more vulgar name for a cat here), er, kitties.

I have to compliment our friend here on his accessories. Check out that necklace! Rappers everywhere would be extremely proud, just as our cover model should be that he was ahead of his time. He also has a mighty fine sword (given that this is a paranormal romance, I will try and restrain myself from making inappropriate anatomy comparisons at this time). I'm guessing it's a sword, though it seems to have a rather blunt end, so perhaps he won't so much poke people with it (ha!) as beat them with it.

And ladies, let's not forget to take a good long look at the feathered brilliance that is his hair. Puffy and silky smooth, just how I like it. I know it's a shadow from his collared shirt, but it almost looks like he has some chest hair attempting to escape his inevitably toned pecs and crawl up his neck. Glorious.

The pinks and purples that make up the background really add to his masculine vibe. Testosterone just oozes from this sword-hefting, puffy-shirt wearing, feline-loving, mullet-sporting god among men. I'm guessing the allusion to space with the moon and stars in the background is meant to convey to us that his lovin' will be "out of this world", and we need to read immediately to be privy to his no-doubt magnificent bedroom abilities.

Though this cover is beyond marvelous, it has since been updated:


From a design perspective, there's no comparison, this latter version is far superior. However, the original cover is so spectacularly ridiculous that I would almost buy the first version as a conversation starter.

What do you guys think?