Friday, December 31, 2010
Cover Critique: A Knight to Remember
Let me preface this post by saying that my design critiques of these covers are in no way, shape or form a reflection on the author, the content or the publisher. I know the authors have very little, if any, control over the design. These are strictly my thoughts meant simply to be humorous and not insulting.
Okay, so originally this week's cover critique was going to be a continuation of last week's where I list my next 3 favorite 2011 covers of the ones that have been released thus far. However, in my internet trawling for the next hilarious cover, I came across the above and absolutely could not wait to share it with all of you. Just when I think I've found the best of the best in ridiculous book covers, I find myself surprised by the sheer spectacularness that is A Knight to Remember. Let's discuss what we're seeing shall we?
First of all, this cover is from the 80's so while we can't hold their outfits against them, we can certainly laugh in hysterical short bursts that will no doubt result in liquid projectiles should we be consuming any beverages at the time we see this visual. Look at her! She's magnificent isn't she? You go you little saucy minx, show him those absurd shorts that no doubt reach to just below your breasts don't make you any less attractive! That's right, tease him with your impressive side boob action, show him what he'll be missing if he takes a pass on you because it looks a little like you're wearing a red diaper and your hair is inexplicable. You've clearly picked your outfit out with seduction in mind, and you've distracted him so much that you've both stopped mid-run to clutch one another in feigned sexual attraction, so carry on you enviable little siren, I shall take notes for my own future reference!
Now that we've had a good giggle over her outfit of choice, can we just talk about our romance hero for a moment? Is it me or does he strongly resemble a zombie? There's definitely something wrong with his face–he's entirely too focused on her right eye and cheek while she seems to be glorying in the fact that he's doing absolutely nothing sexually exciting other than breathing on her from a giant square head attached to a freakishly stubby little neck. He also appears to have some moss growing on his lower arm as it's covered in green furry weirdness. I would be slightly concerned if I were her, wouldn't you? The green and black shirt/short pairing (are the sleeves of his t-shirt rolled? Marvelous.) does little to reduce the Frankenstein vibe, and he appears to have her in a death grip while planning his assault on her face. Run my burgundy short-wearing unnatural blond, run! You're already dressed for it! Although if she does run, she may regret the lack of supportive sports bra situation, an oversight that will be readily apparent to her the moment she picks up speed. Bouncy, bounce, bounce they'll go. She could hurt herself.
And last, but not least, I would like someone to explain to me the pink mass at the top. What kind of freak weather phenomenon is happening here? There are no other clouds in the sky, yet a massive pink blob hovers over our incredibly lacking-in-sexual-chemistry couple. I would pass it off as a result of the sunset if an enormous moon weren't already in place, letting them bask in the glow of quite possibly the most awkward embrace I've ever witnessed. Oh, A Knight to Remember, how I love thee.
I think this is definitely one of the greatest covers I've ever seen. I will cherish it always. What do you guys think, one of the best or no?