Friday, December 31, 2010

Cover Critique: A Knight to Remember

Let me preface this post by saying that my design critiques of these covers are in no way, shape or form a reflection on the author, the content or the publisher. I know the authors have very little, if any, control over the design. These are strictly my thoughts meant simply to be humorous and not insulting.

Okay, so originally this week's cover critique was going to be a continuation of last week's where I list my next 3 favorite 2011 covers of the ones that have been released thus far. However, in my internet trawling for the next hilarious cover, I came across the above and absolutely could not wait to share it with all of you. Just when I think I've found the best of the best in ridiculous book covers, I find myself surprised by the sheer spectacularness that is A Knight to Remember. Let's discuss what we're seeing shall we?

First of all, this cover is from the 80's so while we can't hold their outfits against them, we can certainly laugh in hysterical short bursts that will no doubt result in liquid projectiles should we be consuming any beverages at the time we see this visual. Look at her! She's magnificent isn't she? You go you little saucy minx, show him those absurd shorts that no doubt reach to just below your breasts don't make you any less attractive! That's right, tease him with your impressive side boob action, show him what he'll be missing if he takes a pass on you because it looks a little like you're wearing a red diaper and your hair is inexplicable. You've clearly picked your outfit out with seduction in mind, and you've distracted him so much that you've both stopped mid-run to clutch one another in feigned sexual attraction, so carry on you enviable little siren, I shall take notes for my own future reference!

Now that we've had a good giggle over her outfit of choice, can we just talk about our romance hero for a moment? Is it me or does he strongly resemble a zombie? There's definitely something wrong with his face–he's entirely too focused on her right eye and cheek while she seems to be glorying in the fact that he's doing absolutely nothing sexually exciting other than breathing on her from a giant square head attached to a freakishly stubby little neck. He also appears to have some moss growing on his lower arm as it's covered in green furry weirdness. I would be slightly concerned if I were her, wouldn't you? The green and black shirt/short pairing (are the sleeves of his t-shirt rolled? Marvelous.) does little to reduce the Frankenstein vibe, and he appears to have her in a death grip while planning his assault on her face. Run my burgundy short-wearing unnatural blond, run! You're already dressed for it! Although if she does run, she may regret the lack of supportive sports bra situation, an oversight that will be readily apparent to her the moment she picks up speed. Bouncy, bounce, bounce they'll go. She could hurt herself.

And last, but not least, I would like someone to explain to me the pink mass at the top. What kind of freak weather phenomenon is happening here? There are no other clouds in the sky, yet a massive pink blob hovers over our incredibly lacking-in-sexual-chemistry couple. I would pass it off as a result of the sunset if an enormous moon weren't already in place, letting them bask in the glow of quite possibly the most awkward embrace I've ever witnessed. Oh, A Knight to Remember, how I love thee.

I think this is definitely one of the greatest covers I've ever seen. I will cherish it always. What do you guys think, one of the best or no?


  1. ROFL! He does look like a zombie! Ah, the eighties...

  2. Ecckk That dude does have a freaky zombie face...or a I gotta poop face.

    Side boob action...gotta love it.

    I think this was the funniest one yet..:)

  3. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face! Too funny! Total Frankenstein vibe (the tears are making this hard to type!). Green furry weirdness...omg...I don't remember the 80s looking that bad! This is the least sexy thing I've ever seen.

    Thanks for a great laugh. I'm an old follower, but I've somehow missed this before. I'll definitely be back.


  4. Love it! The guy does resemble a zombie and personally I think the woman looks very masculine. Plus, in no way does the title symbolize the picture on the cover.

  5. LMAO! There is definitely something wrong with his face. If he was trying to kiss me I would be running not offering my cheek. And she should really find a top that fits her!

    Love that you picked another romance cover. Keep them coming...:)

  6. Brilliant! That was a perfect description of the creepy hero.

  7. Lmao! There are no words! I burst out laughing every time I see one of these covers! That guy definitely has something weird going on in the facial department. Scary!!

    The girl reminds me of Shauni from Baywatch! lol! Blast from the past!

  8. LOLLOLLOLLOL! OMG, he so does not look like a knight what so ever. He looks like a beach bum. This cover is just,what were they thinking!! LOL

  9. Aylee - I <3 the 80's, and if I didn't before, this cover would change my mind.

    Tina - Thanks! I hurt myself laughing when I stumbled across it.

    Selena - Isn't it? It's terrifyingly awesome:)

    Zahida - No, I have no idea why it's called A Knight to Remember when he's clearly not a knight. That just makes it better!

    Nic - I would be running far, far away! I've got lots more waiting in the wings:)

    Jennifer - Thank you, I do try:)

    Leanna - His face is disturbing on a variety of levels. Hilarious!

    Savy - I have no idea, but I'm so thankful they put it out there so I could experience it:)

  10. The art is so blotchy! Based on the title alone I was expecting a ridiculous looking medieval knight. Maybe in ill-fitting armor. Doing something silly.
    I never would have expected this -- an eighties cover. Yeah, he definitely has a "I have to poop" expression on his face. Maybe if his eyes were a little more open? And he wasn't fixated on the side of her head instead of her lips or eyes? No, no, I don't think there's any way to fix this one. *shakes head*

  11. This is great Jenny (as per usual)! Thanks for making me laugh!

    Have a great weekend/ New Years!


  12. Madigan - I was quite surprised by the lack of knight as well, but the absurdity of the two of them makes up for it:)

    Avery - Welcome, glad you found it amusing!

  13. Looks like he's about to throw up in her mouth. Excellent cover.

  14. Yep so true, this cover is all sorts of wrong.

  15. LOL Great post!!

    My thoughts: OH my... someone needs to learn foreshortening (loved the way you described it lol)! However, I do believe you are wrong. I'd say this is from the 70s. Think Charlie's Angels. Those shorts have GOT to be from that stage set up. I bet the hair is feathered when not blown in the wind via Farrah.

    Happy New Year!

  16. Bea - It does look like that doesn't it? Ew.

    Jenny - It is, I love it!

    Melissa - Definitely could be from the 70's, she certainly has the makings of Farrah hair:)

  17. LOL! Ohhhh man. That is hilarious. The romantic hero looks like he's in some serious pain. Like any minute he's gonna split for the bathroom. Hahaha.

  18. OMG how funny is this, and sadly I probably bought a few books like this back in the 80's. I really have no clue what is up with Knighty's face, but it looks to me like he might be changing like Dr Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Many it is the burst of hormones he is getting from his dates breast spilling out of the tank top.

    Great post.

    Also Happy New Year!

  19. LOL! How did these covers ever make it to printing? Who in their right mind saw these pictures and though, "Yes, that is excellent!" He does look like a zombie. He also looks repulsed by the prospect of kissing her. It may be because of her 80s get up, but I think she has a rather mannish face herself.

  20. Carissa - That's exactly what it looks like!

    Jan - That tank top doesn't leave much to the imagination, it's clearly overwhelmed him.

    Small - I have no idea, but I'm so glad they made it through:)

  21. LMAO! not sure which is funnier the zombie looking dude or the comment of the big pink blob. Did we wear that stuff in the 80's not sure I would want him that close to me with the green whatever on his arm. She seems not to care though lol.

  22. *dies laughing*

    Why did the 80s ever end?

    Yes, one of the best. And is that really a roll of waves crashing behind him or something seeping out of his behind? With Zombies, you never know. *shudders*

  23. *collapses on floor in coughing fit* LOL those rolling waves at the back looks like he let out one massive rip of steaming gas. You, dear Jenny - are an absolute treasure for finding a cover taht always seems to outdo the previous ones. I can't wait to see what you come up with next. :D

  24. LMFAO! YES Frankstein! My thoughts exactly!

    THIS. IS. TOO. MUCH! Brain overload LMAO

  25. Note to self : Don't take a drink of coffee before opening these posts.

    This is just too funny!