Cover Critique: Dylan

Let me preface this post by saying that my design critiques of these covers are in no way, shape or form a reflection on the author, the content or the publisher. I know the authors have very little, if any, control over the design. These are strictly my thoughts stemming from my design experience.

I'm flashing back a few years again to this cover for Dylan, because really, some of these slightly older romance covers are just too amusing for me to pass over without comment. First of all, our friend Dylan here seems to be riding some sort of mutant water buffalo, which, if you ask me, is not the sexiest form of transportation. I concede that it's more likely this is a horse, but I've spent a lot of time around horses and I've never seen one quite so fat and furry. It certainly doesn't help the horse is cropped at the ears and shoulder, leaving nothing but a wild mane and substantial body mass to determine it's species. That, and not too many people ride water buffalo (that I know of), but I think in this case it's a fairly easy mistake to make.

I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one. After the freakishly furry horse, the next thing I see is his, um, package. Manhood? Whatever you want to call it, it's blatantly being thrust in my face in all it's denim-clad glory. You're staring at it now aren't you? Well, no one can blame you, it's right there at eye level for all to gawk at. The position of his outstretched leg and the reins he's holding lead your eye right to that area, making an obvious stare unavoidable. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself as the alternative would be that I have a fixation with Dylan's fictional goods, a disturbing thought in and of itself.

If I were him, I would personally be concerned than in about .5 seconds, the water buffalo I'm riding is going to land from his current bucking movement, and my prized possessions are going to meet backbone in a very abrupt and painful way. Dylan here doesn't seem too concerned however. No, he's a romance hero and therefore impervious to pain, and things like being rendered incapable of reproducing are a non-issue. It's much more important to flex his six-pack, toss his left arm above his head in an I'm-so-manly-I-only-need-to-hold-on-with-one-hand-and-no-legs kind of way, safe with the knowledge that he has dangly bits of steel, and should any harm come to them, he will simply shake it off and walk away with a bowlegged country cowboy swagger. Color me impressed.

Honestly, in the grand design scheme of things this cover isn't that bad, but the horse and his position on it did make me giggle and who can't use a good giggle on a Friday? What's everyone else think of Dylan?