Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The Year of Lightning: Guest Post with Ryan Dalton


Today I have the pleasure of turning the blog over to author Ryan Dalton so he can talk a little bit about his upcoming release, The Year of Lightning (coming January 12!). As you guys know by now, I'm a big fan of all things time travel so I asked Ryan if he wouldn't mind giving us a little peek into that aspect of the story, and I love where he took my prompt. I hope you guys enjoy as much as I did!

3 THINGS NOT  TO DO WHEN YOU TIME TRAVEL

When people think about time travel, they usually start with all the crazy adventures they could have. Exploring ancient civilizations, seeing when we all finally get jetpacks, assassinating Hitler–you know, fun stuff like that. On the surface, time travel may seem like all DeLoreans and giggles, but I’m here to tell you it’s dangerous stuff! So if you ever find yourself traveling through time, here are three things you should never, ever do. I mean never. Ever. Seriously, ever.

1-Fight your past or future self. Literally no one wins with this one. Yes, Past You or Future You may totally have it coming, but that beating’s only going to splash back on you. One of two things is going to happen. Either 1) you’ll spend years anticipating the day Past You will show up to knock you senseless, or 2) you’ll put the beatdown on Past You, and with each punch you’ll suddenly have the memory of Past You getting pummeled by Present You. Just imagine remembering losing a fight to yourself while also being yourself and delivering said beating. Not only is it painful, but it introduces all sorts of existential crises. You don’t want that drama in your life.

2-Kill an insect. Or animal. Or person. Or maybe even a tree. You know what? Don’t do, say, touch, breathe on, or look at ANYTHING. If science fiction has taught us anything, it’s that the Butterfly Effect is just waiting for you to screw up so it can destroy the timeline as we know it. Oh, you stepped on a grasshopper in the Cretaceous Period? Get ready to arrive home and discover giant squids are now the dominant species. And that’s a best case scenario. Do us all a favor, don’t let the giant squids win. Take a peek outside your time machine, get a couple photos, then turn around and get back inside. For the good of humanity.

3-Make sports bets or invest in fledgling tech companies. We’ve all seen that one time traveler who’s just in it for the money. The guy whose grand plans go no farther than making his Past Self rich, thereby making his Current Self rich. There’s just one problem. If you do that for your Past Self, you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling invincible. Untouchable. Charmed. You know how people act when they feel that way? Like jackasses. You’re about to turn Past You into an insufferable jackass, which will only compound over time and make Present You an even bigger jackass. And what do jackasses do when they travel through time? They violate rule #2, do something stupid like try to punch a T-Rex, and bring the Butterfly Effect down on all our heads. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to end up a sacrificial offering to the Squid King. Not again.

If you want to be extra careful, print this post and keep it with you at all times. You never know when time travel might happen to you, and it never hurts to be prepared. Oh, and happy travels!

P.S. Want to read more about time travel with a healthy dash of mystery, rogue lightning storms, and creepy houses with no doors? My debut novel The Year of Lightning will be released on January 12, 2016. If that sounds like fun, you can find more info here:
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THE YEAR OF LIGHTNING


When 15-year-old twins Malcolm and Valentine Gilbert moved to a new town, they never imagined that the old house across the street could bring them so much trouble. A secret machine has reawakened inside, with the power to pierce time itself.

Meanwhile, lightning storms are breaking out all over town. They’re getting worse every week, and seem to enjoy striking kids who just want to pass science class and mind their own business. When Malcolm and Valentine discover a connection between the house and the storms, their situation goes from mysterious to crazy stupid dangerous. Someone is controlling the great machine, and their purpose is nearly complete.

In a race against time, the twins must uncover the chilling plan, the mastermind behind it, and the force that’s driving the deadly storms. They’ll hunt a powerful enemy that threatens their town’s existence, and the only clues are written in the sky.


20 comments:

  1. LOL I love this list. You'll become a jackass if you're in it for the money. Truer words have never been spoken. Plus the cover is pretty so I'm going to check this out.

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    1. Heh. That was my favorite part too:)

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  2. lol I love that! That's usually true in stories like that. thanks for sharing!

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    1. You're welcome, so glad you enjoyed!

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  3. HAHAHAHA! I love this post! I wouldn't want to end up as a sacrifice for the Squid King myself either!!

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    1. RIGHT?! No thank you on the Squid King.

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  4. LOL!!
    I love this post. I'll be sure to remember all these when I time travel the next time! ;)

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    1. Be sure and print it out Nick, you never know when the next vortex will appear ;-)

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  5. I would so screw something up if I time traveled LOL! Great guest post, so much fun!

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    1. Oh me too. There's absolutely no way I wouldn't.

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  6. This sounds so good..and yes beware the Butterfly Effect.

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    1. I would be petrified if I ever found myself in another time. There's so much to screw up!!!

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  7. I would definitely disrupt the space time continuum if I time traveled. It makes me think of that Doc Brown line from BTTF, "Why are things to heavy, is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?"

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  8. What a fun post. Will have to add it to my stack!

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  9. So cool, oh oh I killed a bug, noooo

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  10. This was so funny! That cover is gorgeous.

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    1. Wasn't it? And I agree on the cover!

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